Welcome to Dalu’s Thought World. this is a place where I pour out the ponderings and mediations of my heart. Here, I like to say it as I see it and feel it and hope I reach out to people or speak someone else’s mind, etc
Today, I want to talk about relationships: the ones you dream of, plan for, want to impose on people or whatever your case may be.
If you observed, part of the topic says, “Will I Marry Me?”, that also translates into, “Will I date me?” “Will I keep me in a relationship?” “Will I be faithful to me?” The point I hope to establish at the end of this post is that you try and become what you except from other people (in terms of dating/marriage).
There exists this mentality/ideology that women are materialistic and only clamour for ‘already-made’ men. That we do not wish to be patient and wait for a man who is just beginning life, and permit me to state that by beginning, I mean, ‘broke’.
I don’t like it. I am tired of hearing it. It’s a boring ideology and it’s highly dumb! But of course, it may not matter to you what I think, but I’m going to say my mind anyway. So hear it is. In the past, a woman was programed, trained and raised for ‘wifery’. She was meant to learn how to tend to the needs of all members of her family from her husband, children, in-laws, etc. She was still expected to have kids, breastfeed, cook, clean, etc…or at least, supervise all chores. The husband was also trained and expected to provide for his family, go to war, hunt, protect, etc. However, that isn’t the case in recent times. Men are hardly all that these days, in fact, men are the ones looking for ‘already-made’ women. In their words, “I don’t want a woman that will be a liability.” They want the working-class self-made lady who needs nothing else from them except their surname.
Seriously, if we ladies will be truthful to ourselves, we will testify that we have seen/met this type of man at one point or the other in our lives. He says stuff like, “Baby, you need to get a job. How will you survive.” Really? you think she doesn’t know? He also says, “Haven’t you been paid?” this one usually comes when you want to get that cute shoe or new hair. The tough one is , “Baby, you need to get a job before we can move this relationship to the next level.” hahahahahah! guess what? Many ladies still fall for this…lol.
The Matter of Fact is….
Nowadays, women are becoming (or have become) more independent. This is not because they want to rub shoulders with men, not just because they want to work hard ..it is also because they have adjusted to a world where a woman has to work hard to secure a future for herself and her family because leaving your future in the hands of a man is like the fate of a cockroach . Women have learnt to face reality. They have learnt to take the bull by the horn, not stand aloof and watch the world pass them by…it has dawned on them that marrying a king, celebrity or president isn’t everyone’s destiny. In fact, haven’t you observed that celebrities don’t marry ‘nobodies’. Hence, a determination to make something for themselves.
Now, you see a woman working this hard to fend for herself, then you show up…proclaiming your undying love with nothing else to offer. Don’t get me wrong…I know all fingers are not equal and no one knows tomorrow blah blah blah… I know all that. and that is the problem many people have. They hold on to these mentality, they become so laid back and VERY LAZY, they find it impossible and unreasonable to make something of their lives, then they expect everyone to be understanding.
If you are a man and you reason like this man I just described, you need to wake up! You mustn’t work for someone. If you can’t get a job, create one. There must be something you can do that has nothing to do with your degree. Stop blaming ladies when they say no to you. There are many women out there that will never say yes to you if you stick with this mentality! Seal married Heidi Klum, Governor Oshiomole married that beautiful Ethiopian lady, etc.. You think if they were nobodies they could land such ladies? You men say, it’s a man’s world, but it’s also our world…to choose the best among the sea of men around.
Stop blaming God, the government, witches, etc. Stop complaining about the problem and do something about the problem. We ladies admire strong, ambitious and skillful men, now if you turn up: lazy, unambitious, unskillful (that includes having a skill but not using it), unintelligent and on top of it all proud…we’re gonna have to pass!
At the end of the day, you only find out that it is only desperate ladies…ladies who are so desperate to settle for just about anything that end up with lazy, self-centered men. If you really are not self centered, you’ll ask yourself that question, “Will I marry me?” If your answer is no, then you need to work on yourself. It’ll be wise if you think about this seriously and don’t take this personal.
I’ll stop here. Thanks for visiting.